*Future of my Destiny*

I've been thinking about my future so much lately. I use to be more ambitious and a goal driven years back. As of now, I've been feeling stangant. And when I mean stagnant it doesnt mean I haven't been doing nothing for my future. I have been doing things on a much smaller scale than what I am capable of doing. So, now I working on piecing back more things that I enjoy and love. Those things are my destiny, and I'm getting to a place now that I can make it happen. 

Some of the things I want to complete is my book, start a business, and look for another job. Aside from these goals I plan to attend more social events, travel, and dating. Yes, these goals are more personal life stuff. And these things will start picking up more next month. I'm getting so excited because I can tell my future is going to be bright. I just have to remain focused and crush these goals daily. And I have to motivate myself to stay disciplined. I know will be a challenge as all things are in life. However, I plan to keep it pushing because I want what I want! 

My future destiny is important to me and yours should be too. Stay on course and remain strong. We can do this we got this💪 

*Taking My Power Back*

 I always hear my mom saying "I'm taking my power back." Lately, I have been able to relate to this so much. After my birthday last month it kind of made me notice the people who are there for me. I have always been the "strong" friend but now I'm all about focusing on me. I response to people when I feel like it. Or I don't response at all if I don't feel like it. 

A lot for me has changed and I am proud of these changes. I am no longer the brush stuff under the rug type of girl. I don't let things roll off of my shoulder. Now, I confront things head on and deal with them. If that means I have to find a new circle so be it. I will not allow anyone to come in my life with B.S. period. If someone one is fake they're better off moving around me. No more sqaures in my circles!

I am taking my power back by focusing on me. This year has already been challenging dealing with my light sensitivity in my eyes. It makes me anxious and depressed but I am coping with it daily. The changes your body goes through as you age makes you miss your 20s. I do love being older in my 30s though.   

I just know life for me is changing and some people call it growing pain. I call it REAL life because you know it is so real. I'm thinking about so much that I want to do with my life. Like one day I want to be a mother, own a nice home, possible get married, start a business, and travel more. I think about these things all the time. Most of these things are on my vision board. I understand nothing will happen over night. So for now I'm just going to be taking it day by day. Staying focused on the things that matter to me the most. And working towards my goals and that is were my power lies. I control my life and I want to leave this world with a purpose. My main purpose is changing lives. That is one of the reasons I started this blog years ago. It not only helps others but it helps me as well. Each and everyday I am growing and staying on my path. 

Just as long as I keep faith in God everything else will fall into place. 

*Feeling So Alone*

I feel so alone, I just finally realized I don't have any friends seriously. I planned a birthday event and only one person showed up. Which to me it was fine I had a lot of fun still and the food was bomb! I enjoyed my meal and I loved the restaurant decor. I love that I looked really cute and my hair and makeup was done. I had a really cute outfit as well. I was just thinking why didn't they just say they aren't coming to begin with.

I guess the older you get, you truly start to see people's true colors. Not the fake pretend mask that they wear. I'm learning to get alone with myself that is all that matters. One of the reasons I should of been selfish years ago. I'm at this personal developmwnt stage in my life. Every since last year I have been making some change to improve my life. Now I know that it's with friendships too. I don't need a lot of friends or anything that is not 100% true in my life. This is one of the reasons I use the word friend so rarely. I don't have many true friends and I am fine with that.

I have also stop communicating with some family members too. My family use to be much closer but now it's so different. I'm adapting to these changes as well. I answer my phone and text just the same way they do. If they feel they don't need to be bothered neither do I. I guess that is the most simplest way to put it.

This is not the first time I have felt this way either. I felt alone when I was homeless, in the foster care system, and a few months after graduating from college. It's so hard trying to depend on yourself all the time. I know this feeling is only temporary and will pass.

Like I mentioned before I will just continue to focus on myself. Life is just as good as you want to make it. I will have a happy life full of success with or without people. This is just too real.

*Mind over Matter*

I'm having one of those days where I have to be mentally tuff. I keep reminding myself that it's all mind over matter. I just don't have the patience anymore it feels like with this J-O-B. There are days like today that I just want to walk out and be free like a bird. 

And like I mentioned in a previous post, I always come to work and say "this is only temporary." That little phrase keeps me going through out the day. It keeps me mentally tuff. And I know for sure one day I will be living my dreams. Sometimes the things that we don't want to do teaches us to keep going. It becomes our motivation to "get out and live our dreams." It helps us to stop, breathe, and reset our goals and attention. 

Keep going and keep growing my Sweet Candy canes 🍬😊

*Inspired by MLK Speaker*

At work yesterday we had a speaker Dr Chenelle, for MLK day. It was absolutety phenomenal hearing her story and taking key gems in her speech. She really inspired me to want to do more. As a Black woman seeing other go-getters like her just makes me want to challenge myself. 

Some key points I took from her speech:

-Most people don't fail due to fear. Most people fail due to lack of commitment.

-55.3 million dreams die every year. People are dying with dreams unfulfilled.

-Check your circle, if you're the smartest one in your circle create a new one.

-Have the courage to make your dreams a reality.

-Tell me what I can't do, and I will prove to you that I can!

-When you think big, you dreams big, your results will be big. 

-Do it with a Martin mindset.

Celebrating 2019 was Magical💫