I feel so alone, I just finally realized I don't have any friends seriously. I planned a birthday event and only one person showed up. Which to me it was fine I had a lot of fun still and the food was bomb! I enjoyed my meal and I loved the restaurant decor. I love that I looked really cute and my hair and makeup was done. I had a really cute outfit as well. I was just thinking why didn't they just say they aren't coming to begin with.
I guess the older you get, you truly start to see people's true colors. Not the fake pretend mask that they wear. I'm learning to get alone with myself that is all that matters. One of the reasons I should of been selfish years ago. I'm at this personal developmwnt stage in my life. Every since last year I have been making some change to improve my life. Now I know that it's with friendships too. I don't need a lot of friends or anything that is not 100% true in my life. This is one of the reasons I use the word friend so rarely. I don't have many true friends and I am fine with that.
I have also stop communicating with some family members too. My family use to be much closer but now it's so different. I'm adapting to these changes as well. I answer my phone and text just the same way they do. If they feel they don't need to be bothered neither do I. I guess that is the most simplest way to put it.
This is not the first time I have felt this way either. I felt alone when I was homeless, in the foster care system, and a few months after graduating from college. It's so hard trying to depend on yourself all the time. I know this feeling is only temporary and will pass.
Like I mentioned before I will just continue to focus on myself. Life is just as good as you want to make it. I will have a happy life full of success with or without people. This is just too real.
I guess the older you get, you truly start to see people's true colors. Not the fake pretend mask that they wear. I'm learning to get alone with myself that is all that matters. One of the reasons I should of been selfish years ago. I'm at this personal developmwnt stage in my life. Every since last year I have been making some change to improve my life. Now I know that it's with friendships too. I don't need a lot of friends or anything that is not 100% true in my life. This is one of the reasons I use the word friend so rarely. I don't have many true friends and I am fine with that.
I have also stop communicating with some family members too. My family use to be much closer but now it's so different. I'm adapting to these changes as well. I answer my phone and text just the same way they do. If they feel they don't need to be bothered neither do I. I guess that is the most simplest way to put it.
This is not the first time I have felt this way either. I felt alone when I was homeless, in the foster care system, and a few months after graduating from college. It's so hard trying to depend on yourself all the time. I know this feeling is only temporary and will pass.
Like I mentioned before I will just continue to focus on myself. Life is just as good as you want to make it. I will have a happy life full of success with or without people. This is just too real.
