~I’m Only Looking for a Provider Husband~

I literally had a dream last month that someone proposed to me. And I remember in that dream everyone was all up on me try to see the ring. That part was a little annoying but I do one day want to get married. And now the more I stay in this city I’m started to feel like I will never find love here. Not the type of relationship I want. I know for a fact that I want a provider. Although, I can take care of myself and I have for many years. I don’t want to have that pressure after I get married. I want to be more of the nurturer than anything else. And seeing how men are natural providers, and make more than most women. I can’t let that thought go especially since I’ve been taking care of myself for decades. All the women I have come across in my life that were provided for always looked more happy. This one lady I used to work with only got a job because she needed something to do when her daughters moved out the house. And I remember how she use to talk about the amazing things her husband did for her. It just made me so happy for her. She really had a great spouse that always looked out for her. The type of women I am I deserve that too. I didn’t want that when I was younger…I wanted to be super independent. And now I realized that was not the life for me. I just want to rest in my femininity, and not worry about the hustle bustle culture. And once that gets done I will feel complete. I will not lower this standard for no man. I will keep my standards high! Providers only, hypergamy only!

I Understand What He Meant Now

I remember when I first started working at my job. There was a guy close to my age that was totally burnt out. I remember seeing him following asleep at his desk, coming in later, and just feeling unmotivated. He told me how when he started they promised him all of these things that he didn’t get. He later switched departments and then completely quit the job. Although, I remember him him vaguely, I now understand him completely. I understand why he quit and all the silly games these jobs play. It can effect you mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, and even physically. I keep speaking on the rat race because I want it to be known. I want people to escape and feel free. I want there to be a change in the dynamic that corporations have on human beings. Something has to be done about this because we are all tired of the silly games. We are all tired of the many lies told the bias and 

discriminations that flood these places called jobs. It’s ridiculous if you really think about it. Now, I 100% understand what this old co-worker was feeling and why he quit. You have to put yourself first. Happiness should be your number 1 priority. And although I haven’t quit yet. I can feel it coming soon. My peace is important to me!